Diary of An Old Gym Bunny 2


Posted on: 14 June 2011 by Diane Priestley

My second session at the gym and I am taking it easy in the jacuzzi! No point pushing myself too hard!

Beautiful young Jack (turns out he’s a model and actor!) set me up with a smart maroon Esporta sports bag, matching towels and t-shirt, a gadget to monitor my heart rate and ear plugs for grooving to my ipod music while working out. I feel so cool. 

This place is so sexy (I have to confess!) After working in isolation on my computer in my little Rapunzel loft, suddenly I am wandering around the hushed indoor pool with hunks in tight togs with impressive torsos. I avert my eyes and try not to smirk.

Now I am relaxing in the Jacuzzi all blasé and this swarthy guy, cool as a cucumber, just steps right in and joins me. I try to act like this is perfectly normal and I am used to sharing a Jacuzzi with a testosterone-charged man.

I didn’t mention, there are also two very large ladies chatting madly in a foreign language firmly installed in front of the high-pressure jets. 

Suddenly the aqua aerobics class takes off with loud upbeat music breaking the tranquil, sultry mood! I watch the super-toned poolside instructor go through her paces directing the flabby women flaying in the water and think it would be so much easier on dry land. But then that’s the point I remind myself; to create resistance for the muscles. 

All this fitness stuff is new to me. My favourite exercise so far is definitely reclining in the Jacuzzi, a wet version of my position on the sofa. 

But enough day dreaming! I ease myself into the pool and set forth in my ungainly freestyle and immediately collide with a graceful swimmer coming the other way. When I reach the end of the pool, I spot the sign about staying on the left side of the lane. Whoops! Wish I could display an L-Plate as I navigate my way around this thrilling new world.

I don’t want to exert myself straight off and shock my neglected body. I really must ease in gently. So I skip the yoga class tonight (actually I was late because I had a little snooze before leaving home). But I am armed with my new kit and psyching up for my session with the personal trainer who will introduce me to the daunting machines. 

I am a little scared of those machines. I anticipate feeling like a character in The Terminator. But there is one machine I’ve got my eye on; it’s a massive vibrator and you can do all kinds of exercises on it and tone up different parts of the body. I imagine a queue of middle-aged women waiting to use it, all us suppressing a secret smile. 

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Gareth Hargreaves posted 14 June 2011

Nice one, Diane. You're never going to over do it in the Jacuzzi.

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