Dating & Taboos: Age Differences
Posted on: 27 November 2017 by Tracey Clayton
Every relationship is unique in its own way and they all come with a whole lot of challenges, but one particular challenge – age difference, still gets its own share of social stigma. Even though age gaps in relationships are now much more common, they are still a very important when it comes to taking your relationship to a more serious level. They can affect your relationship in many ways, and you should consider each and every one of them very carefully.
Compatibility of your personalities
Even though we are all well aware of the fact that age is just a number and that they are not that big of a deal in a relationship, it’s not that simple. Age gap can actually affect your and your partner’s compatibility in more ways than one.
For example, if the age difference between you two is really big, chances are that you will probably have different experiences, worldview, attitude and opinions. And this issue can vary from common things such as hobbies, to major ones such as marriage, dating, politics and overall attitudes towards life itself. Of course, this doesn’t refer to those who agreed on an open and casual relationship, because differences really don’t matter that much here.
However, if you are both aiming towards a long-term relationship or even marriage, then this is a whole different story. The age gap can affect your time together, the way you spend money and your overall long-term goals. So, make sure you’re both aware of these issues and make sure to deal with them if necessary.
Expectations and goals in a relationship
It’s perfectly normal that people in their 20s can’t have the same relationship expectations as people in their 30s; and this is not even such big of an age difference. However, there are always a few exceptions; for example, girls who are dating older men often think that they just want to settle down and get married, but that doesn’t have to be the case. On the opposite end of the spectrum, not every younger man wants to date hundreds of women before settling down, so let’s try to ditch those old stereotypes, okay?
Support from your family and friends
Yes, as we have already said, age differences in relationships are more acceptable nowadays, but it doesn’t mean you won’t get a few raised eyebrows, especially if the difference is really big. This is why many couples with age gap are experiencing disapproval from their friends and families. Such disapproval can lead to them feeling distanced from all of their loved ones, which adds so much more pressure on the relationship. Those constant negative remarks can often weaken the commitment between them.
Furthermore, there’s also a general disapproval and even stares in public if the difference is noticeable, and all those judgmental comments can seriously weaken the relationship, especially if there already are doubts on whether you two are right for each other or not.
If you’ve just started dating someone older, you probably noticed their different dating habits. You, for example, consider going clubbing for a date, while your date would rather go to an elegant dinner. On the other hand, maybe you’re more into RnB while your date wants to go to a jazz concert. Furthermore, things like common first date questions are so much different depending on the age. While younger individuals will rather stick to casual questions and avoid relationship talk on the first date, older individuals just aren’t afraid to be more straightforward. Next, older individuals will probably want to take some time to get to know you before moving forward, if they are looking for a more serious relationship. A younger person will, on the other hand, more likely play ‘games’ to see whether you are interested or not. Such different styles may or may not drive you two apart, and you should be aware of that.
However, regardless to what you read online about dating, know that your relationship is entirely your business, and if you two really love each other and can make each other happy, things such as age gap shouldn’t be in your way.