Dating after 25 years of marriage
Posted on: 26 August 2016 by Norah Martin
Learn how to keep a marriage alive after decades.
Anybody who says that keeping love alive is easy after twenty-five years of marriage has either never been married or is a bad liar. Marriage is a unity of two people in love who decide to devote their lives to each other and nourish it with mutual understanding and wisdom. It’s not a walk in the park and it requires a lot of self-sacrifice, respect and above all - compromise. Married couples who have children are mostly focused on their proper upbringing and during their mission they unfortunately start neglecting each other’s needs and desires. Consequently, they easily and more frequently come into conflict and gradually become distant and isolated from each other.
It is perfectly understandable that infatuation and passion don’t last long, especially after 25 years of marriage. It is a natural thing that people change over the years. A human as a living being needs to expand and evolve and at some point spouses seem to outgrow the relationship and change their needs and preferences. After so many years of living together, they need to learn to be flexible towards each other because, otherwise, they soon begin to run out of originality and they burn out. Inflexibility is a perfect set up for a disaster movie. In order to prevent this, they must reevaluate their relationship, identify who they really are, what they are searching for and continuously renew and revive their relationship.
Here are a few suggestions that will help you see the marriage in a new light:
- Be patient and communicate
One of the main reasons married couples easily get into a fight is lack of communication. It is essential to express your feelings, talk about your plans and ideas, complain about any issues in your relationship, laugh together at jokes, take trips down memory lane and most importantly - be friends. Friendship is the basis of a successful marriage, so, in order to maintain it, show kindness and appreciation and make time for fun.
- Try new imaginative things
There must be a list of things you have always dreamt of doing but never actually succeeded due to the full-time parenting years. Now is the perfect time to plan something extraordinary or something you have been postponing, such as learning a new language or a skill, doing sport, going camping somewhere in the wilderness. These fun activities will bring you closer and you will feel like newlyweds.
- Go travelling
Travelling broadens the mind. There is nothing more inspiring and challenging than travelling to far-distant places and experiencing a new culture. Choose an exotic destination, pack your bags and hit the road together! It will help you focus on each other and charge your batteries. You might have to spend a bit more money, but it’s definitely worth it.
- Revive the romance
Create a romantic home atmosphere such as a quiet dinner with scented candles and nice, soothing music in the background. Rekindle the passion by setting time aside for intimacy and don’t wait for your partner to make the first move. Learn the language love and do a special thing for your spouse, something he or she really likes but you haven’t done for a long time. Prepare his favorite meal or watch his favorite movie together even though you have already seen it a few times, or simply tell him how much you love him.
If you do not know how to resolve your problems, it’s the perfect time to get a third party involved. Marriage counseling can give you helpful relationship tips on how to sort out negative feelings and move in the right direction. Don’t be afraid of it as it is a perfectly normal thing to seek somebody else’s professional advice.
Keeping a marriage alive after many years of living together is a difficult journey which demands a lot of patience, dedication, effort and mutual understanding. However, this journey is also healing, it brings hope and emotional fulfillment. Enjoy it!